When I Hear The Word Hibernation I Think of Bears

Just woke up from a 17-hour sleep. And I felt soo hungry as soon as I woke up.

Yesterday I was at Makati for a seminar about V-c-t--- D-s-e-n-e-t. It was really good. Srsly. The talk would eventually change my life. I was there at around 7:30am (so early). Such a fail morning because I wasn't able to get a decent sleep on the night of the 27th towards the dawn of the 28th. We had a little "Happy Birthday" for Mama at 12 midnight, and after that I wasn't fortunate enough to sleep.

I remember falling asleep at around 5am, then waking up because the coffee kettle whistled... I had breakfast with my kuya because he's on the way to the clinic at Laguna, his work starts at 8am.

On the afternoon before coming home I had some pastry bread and lots of coffee for snacks... (last meal for the day) Then I went home. Nung pag uwi ko at matutulog na ako my mom and my siblings asked me to buy them meryenda, so I did. Nung matutulog na ako ayaw ako patulugin ni Mama. WTF. Natulog parin ako anyway. I felt like shit ignoring her on her birthday, but I really am sleepy, even with all the caffeine already in my body.

Anyway, moving on from that. Last Monday I went to my ex's home (for lunch) to see her Mom (and siyempre Siya). ahaha. It just sucks na... secret. Wala lang. :)) Haay. I missed them so much.

Bakit kaya ngayong holidays, everytime I meet people they say tumataba ako. Hehehe! Laging puyat, all those meal skipping, tumataba. Haha! A proof on the existence of miracles. During Christmas Day when relatives and loved ones come into our home that's the first thing they say to me (after Merry Christmas).

2011 na in a few days... How will I remember 2010? Hmmm...

Kalte Weihnachten *kal-te vye-nak-ten

It's Christmas day! Worst day of my life. ♣

lol I'm just shitting you. Anyway, pasensya na. I've been getting a assload of page views* for days and I haven't been posting. hehe. Tamad much.

How was my Christmas vacation so far? It was really warm.** I've been staying at home kasi most of the time, haha! When I go out, I only go out for like 2 hours tops, just for a meal, or a coffee or a mass or some short shopping for stuff. I like hanging out at home. Basically, the tv was my best friend for days already. I'm missing the movies! :((

The past week was by far the days in my young adult life that I've most enjoyed watching television. I wasn't much of a tv person, you know. But on vacations like these, and with some kind of sickness that makes me ditch all them Christmas parties, and other friendly engagements, the television is the best time-killing machine. TV even topped my video games and the internet.

The vacation so far was a blast for me, even though all I'm seeing is the seemingly boring flipping of the channels, lol. No long drives, no beach somewhere, no going here or there. Srsly. It was like: National Geographic, History Channel, and Discovery Channel were the main barkada. The news and some cartoons + animes were like random engagements that I've appreciated. My sweetheart tho was Discovery Channel's Mythbusters, lol. Everyday, every 1pm or 1am, they air a rerun of an episode. Every Friday they air a new episode from the latest season at 8pm. Every episode was 60 minutes of pure awesomeness. And that one hour was like a date. LOL. Srsly. haha! If there are ways to ruin my vacation, one scenario can include me freaking out and holding remote control that ran out of batteries.

Okay nuff said with the tv madness. LOL. Anyway, I've been looking like shit for the past months. I even had my graduation picture taken with shit on my face. Hehe. Pero I shouldn't look like shit in the next few days. I should look presentable. :))

On Monday a good friend of mine invited me for lunch, hehe. I should look as slick as I can kasi I've always turned down her invitations for the past months. Busy kasi sa school and hindi compatible yung time.

On the 28th I'll be going somewhere, and its classified. A whole day of some serious activity somewhere Makati. I even can't believe that I'll be into that serious stuff on that day. And it's mom's birthday. Uuwi na lang agad ako asap.

Anyway, moving on to other topics, what's your favorite Christmas song? Ako kasi yung It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas (ang haba ng title? yun ba title nun?) at saka yung Jingle Bell Rock, wala lang sharing. hehehe. Ikaw ba?

I've always wanted to do a Christmas carol. hehe. May chance dun sa org kaso I'm too stubborn to attend org stuffs, hehehe. I even have a piano fail, when months ago, sabi ko sa sarili ko dapat may Christmas song ako na piece na matututunan. Super fail kasi ang natutunan ko lang is yung pambata na Jolly Old Saint Nicholas. (wag mo naman akong pagtawanan, sige ako na ang noob sa piano)

Haay, pasko nanaman. I was comparing last year's planner that I got from a coffee shop to this year's planner. Ang bilis ng oras, hehe. And its weird, I just slept like 2am kanina and ngayon gising na agad ako. Ang aga ko nagising first time. I woke up 6am. I can't even remember when was the last time I woke up this early. I think it was months ago, hehe.

Sige it ends here for now.

here's something new, written in a noob way: [wow footnotes, hay-tech]

♣ when you get upset, hey, just chill. Shit happens, and that's not all that happens to you. It's just a tiny speck, a little topping on your pizza of life, like a piece of misplaced pepper grain that you don't want alongside a pool of cheese and peperonni (spell check) and ham and ground beef. Okay enough of that, it makes me hungry, hehe. Pero what I mean is, that tiny speck might affect your taste buds, right? pero, erm, basta, alam mo na yun. (tinamad?! haha)

* that's tens; hundred views per week is a shitload of views, and the blog isn't that much popular you know, only friends like you read this

** everyone likes a good dose of sarcasm once in a while, especially in occasions like these

Here's To Goodbye

I really hate that word: Goodbye. I felt super sad today. As in down talaga.

Ate left for Canada this afternoon, and super nakakalungkot. Everybody's gonna miss her. Although her status of securing a permanent residency permit there is getting better, I can't keep myself from being gloomy. Kasi yung sunod na uwi niya is uncertain. Well, in reality, everything's uncertain. Pero, super saya kasi nung umuwi siya. I wish time froze na lang that time. I wish we can all ditch reality in times like this.

So, I guess we'll be logging on to Skype regularly again.

*damn, I wish I had hugged her longer for like a second or two :'((

How Many Times Has She Crossed Your Mind?

Only once; then she never left.
I miss her to the power of infinity. I mean, seriously. I've been listening to this song non-stop all day everyday for like 5 days now. She never left my mind. It's like having her in every brain cell in my skull. She's even present in the synapses, lol. I miss her… Super. Di ko alam kung malungkot ako o masaya ngayon, pero miss ko talaga siya as in. Alam mo yun? Miss ko lang talaga. Been having flashbacks every minute, I feel like there's no present, walang ngayon, everything was yesterday, period. All my thoughts are always on the past. Sana physically dun na lang din ako nag eexist. I've been virtually out of myself these days talaga, as in. They say time is slow when you're cheerless? Hindi. Ang bilis ng oras. Moving soooo fast but feeling there's no direction. Yes I'm traveling, but I'm not bound to arrive at anything. Like what's happening to me now. One moment natutulala na lang ako, next thing I knew when I checked the time isang oras na pala ako naka tanga.
I'm not sad. I just miss her. I mean, I can't think of anything else. Buti na lang I have other stuff to do aside from school works. Buti may org ako, ahaha. Natatabunan yung pag iisip ko when I'm at an idle state. Sana lagi na lang may rehearsals every night, hehehe. Nakaraos yung 1 week of long nights ko thanks to the rehearsals… Pano na ngaun? Tapos na ang cultural… :(
I wanna see her. Wala lang. But surely it will hurt a lot seeing her. I wanna see her prin. Miss na miss ko siya. I miss holding her… My gawd, again I'm going thru one of those "I-miss-you-so-badly" episodes. This one though, isn't filled with sadness or anything. Just plain old craving for her.
I miss her… Bakit kaya biglang ganito nangyari sken?

So, What is M.O.?

I wanna rant today, so here it goes. (you're about to read some foolishly written thoughts in here... wala naman pumipilit sayo basahin to, shoo! wag mo na ituloy ang pagbabasa, hehe)

Eto ang natutunan ko sa math class ko kanina (seryoso):

Sometimes, M.O. seems like counting your ass off to infinity; you know its there but you just won't get there.

or

M.O. can be asymptotic. I mean, hell yeah, you can really get close to it. You can always say na "Malapit na ako makapag......" pero di mo rin talga masabi kung kelan yung "touch down!" Alam mo may end point pero it seems like you're goin for eternity reaching that shit (or beyond that). Alam mo yun? Alaam mooo yunnn?

****ranting ends there

Hahaha! anyway. I should be workin on the music score for the cultural presentation of the organization for next Thursday. Instead, I'm writing in this shitty diary. Well, I'm kinda proud kasi natapos ko na ang first five minutes of the score. 10 more minutes to go! So, in other terms, its 30% done, and 100% duDone. (its a new adjective, wherein a majority part of a work in progress, or WIP is left out undone, so that cramming takes place afterwards) :D

Anyway (again), like yesterday, I'll be joining the rehearsals for tonight to direct the music for my orgmates... I'll be staying there late, like until 12 midnight kasi I don't want to go home early tonight. I wanna stay that late so the night won't be long for me: you know, the blues are getting on my nerves (again) these days. :D

Anyway, (again) kuya is asking me to save money for the weekend. We'll be going out daw on saturday night! ahaha! Asa naman makapag save ako ng extra money for that night. Siyempre nanjan naman sila para ilibre ako. :D

anyway (ulit, I'm too dumb to think of other words), I should stop writing here na. Gotta work on the sounds for later's rehearsals. xD